Have you ever felt that you just need someone to talk to, but all you see are just strangers?
I have no idea why I felt this today.. I have never felt so lonely in my entire life.
Yes, blame it on me that I could have taken the initiative to talk to others, but I just can't. I am an extrovert (based on the MBTI test), but you can't expect an extrovert to talk all the time right? We can be shy human beings as well.
It sucks, that you seem to be walking in a group but yet you don't really know and can't really talk to anybody in that group. All you can do is just to look at your phone, and being so thankful that someone is online so you can pretend to be busy on the phone. Then you slowly speed up and drift away from the group, only to hear laughter behind you and wondering are they laughing about you or anything.
It sucks, it just really sucks.
I mean, who likes to admit that they are lonely?
And nobody really understands. You try to tell your problems to people that you really trust, but all you get is them pitying you and then moving on to talk about their problem, as if the conversation only revolves around them and whatever you said gets brushed off by a simple "aiyo why like that", "so sad sia you".
Lol, I didn't share my problems to let you pity me and then brush it off with these few insensitive words.
Or maybe, I am just being overly sensitive. I guess everyone has this side of them, don't they?
And I am really sick and tired of pleasing everybody. Like REALLY sick and tired of it. I tend to get all paranoid when I see emo posts from people and start wondering it is about me; there were times I even contacted the writer to express my concerns. Well, often they will say it's not what I thought it was, but how often are they telling the truth?
Sometimes I really wonder, who really cares? Nobody understands what I have been going through, unless you are my clone. Everyone is busy with their own life, meeting new people, only to think of you when they realized you have been gone for quite some time.
This is just life, isn't it?
You are always alone.
